


train

by yuminpa



Category: A Hat in Time (Video Game)
Genre: I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:40:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24379603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuminpa/pseuds/yuminpa
Summary: it was all going so well!
Relationships: The Conductor/DJ Grooves (A Hat in Time)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 62





	train

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tct](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=tct).



> Bliz, Rift, sorry for releasing out of the blue. Hopefully I didn't steal your thunder or scare the shit out of you. Or maybe I'm flattering myself idfk  
> But hi! I went to hell and came back  
> This is..! Uh! Takes place after necktie. Well after. That's all you should know. Everything else will be explained. Don't read if you're triggered by suicide attempts/alcohol or self harm refs please thank

It had been months since the Conductor and DJ Grooves declared their romance as official. 

It was obvious before that they had some unannounced thing, however; shortly after the necktie incident as the workers at Dead Bird Studio call it, the unlikely duo had been suddenly all over each other; talking almost all of the time, spending their breaks together–

Sometimes Conductor would sneak into Grooves’ storage room and just stay there the whole night; talking about everything and nothing simultaneously. 

Now they had declared all the love a relationship– and they considered themselves boyfriends and the whole studio to got used to it despite their rivalry– they decided to go out to the city; get away from all of the stress and bills that come with being award winning movie directors. 

And so far their so-called  _ date  _ had been going smoothly. 

The sun was setting and the duo were sitting on a bench on a train platform, eagerly waiting for their train back to the studio. 

_ Sure, the Owl Express may be the only train to exist on this strange world but we can pretend there is more than one Conductor on this train...because surely it's not all about the studio? _

Anyway, a comforting, relaxing silence had been setting around them as they both watched separate things. 

Grooves watched the moon begin to rise and the sun begin to set;

And Conductor’s invisible eyes were fixated on the empty train tracks and the trains that seemed to pass by. 

But finally, Grooves decided to get rid of this silence–

“Did you enjoy today?”

Conductor seemed to tense as if he was rather startled by the moon penguin’s voice. His ears perked up instantly and he looked up at Grooves, but those ears dropped shortly after his sudden anxiety began to slow. 

“...Yeah, I think. It was nice tae get away from everything.” He said, faintly smiling and looking back at the tracks, a small steam engine passing by. “Did you enjoy it?”

“I did! Getting away from DBS was relaxing, mainly because I got to spend more time with you, I think…” he let out a giggle and lightly kissed the owl’s cheek. 

Conductor, in response, began to laugh, a pink hue appearing on his cheeks. “How are ye so cheesy!?”

“...Well, I guess I'm like that, darling...you should know that by now.”

“I do!”

Silence fell on them again and Grooves wrapped his arm around Conductor’s shoulder. 

  
  


A while had passed, and…

“Still, no train?” Grooves looked at the timetable as he said this, tilting his head. Conductor did the exact same. 

“I thought it would be here already. It's late by ten minutes, look!” He leaned over and pointed at the timetable, Grooves looking that way and sighing. “That just proves I'm the best conductorrrr around–” 

The rolling of the tongue specifically made Grooves laugh– and in turn, Conductor laughed, too, because his boyfriend’s laugh is contagious…

But it very quickly diminished. 

  
  


Silence fell on them again as they waited, and waited, for what seemed like an eternity. 

In this silence, Conductor began to think... _ he could try it again. The next time a train appears.  _

_ Nobody's here. Nobody’ll know. Grooves won't be able to save him _ .

Try as he might; he could not shoo those thoughts away and it irked him; but his annoyance was not visible. He looked fine on the outside, and yet; on the inside his anger, his sadness, his confusion, were all merging into one thought:  _ suicide.  _

_ But why try again!? Things were getting better! _

But even if things were getting better, the nihilistic, suicidal part of his brain always jumped out and overpowered every thought he had, whether he liked that or not. 

He just snuggled closer to Grooves as they waited for the train, sort of attempting to bring himself back to reality and convince himself further that it would all be okay and absolutely nobody would benefit from him leaving…

  
  


But once he heard the horn of a train, that attempt to ground himself failed and he peeked up at Grooves. 

_ Asleep. That's great! _

The train was approaching quickly; the horn getting louder. And he was losing patience; so he quickly lightly pecked at Grooves’ cheek, got out of his grip and booked it. 

Being woken up by the kiss on the cheek, Grooves stirred and mumbled; about to lean closer to Conductor, but when he realised he was gone, he tilted his head. 

He began to look around the nearest area for his boyfriend; and spotted him–

  
  


_ Down on the train tracks, standing in front of the approaching train that isn’t even theirs!  _

“H-hey, wait-” 

He ran over to where Conductor was standing, quickly turning to look at the alarmingly quick train–

“CONDUCTOR!”

It was mere milliseconds before tragedy struck that Grooves yanked him by the hand back up on to the platform, the duo breathing heavily, Conductor crying ever so slightly...

  
  


And then everything slowed down…including– especially the flow of time…

“W-what!?” Conductor kept mumbling through his tears- “I-i thought you were asleep!? What the peck!? That was supposed to–”

Without a word, Grooves embraced the thrashing owl.

...And began to cry. 

“...Things were getting so much better...you began to tell me about your problems...we became official for pecks sake– Why do you still want to do this..?”

“Why aren't you mad!?”

“O-oh I am!” He let go of the Conductor and placed his own hands on his shoulders, shaking him every time he needed to emphasise something. “I am mad! I am pecking mad at you, I am every time you do this...but...why?”

Conductor sighed, his ears dropping, refusing to look his boyfriend in the eye. “...These thoughts don't go away forever. Recovery ain't linear. It won't go away forever when something good happens to me.”

“I know…” Grooves sighed shakily, hugging Conductor again,

“But...I love you...please- I really want you to know that...I love you so much...and I want the best for you, alright..? I don't want you to leave me, I want to help you...because I know deep down you don't want to  _ die.  _ You just want to escape something, maybe your thoughts…?”

Hearing all of this, the Conductor began to tear up, suddenly regretting all of his actions, his thoughts;  _ he just wanted to curl up and hide.  _

“Y-yeah...I guess-”

“I can help you take those thoughts away…if you let me help. You have to let me  _ in-  _ just because I'm talking nicely to you doesn't mean I'm not  _ pissed  _ right now!” He shook the owl a little bit, who shuddered slightly. 

“...You see what I mean though..? I want to help you…”

  
  


“I see what you mean.”

The train the duo were waiting for eventually arrived, and they wordlessly rode all the way home, refusing to let go of each other's hands.


End file.
